“Healing isn’t a straight line.”

Today is a very special day.

For the past 6 years, I’ve invested (at least) 1 hour a month to healing.
...my heart.
...my inner child.
...my relationship with self.
...and my relationships with others.

And the recovery process hasn't been a straight line.

But today is a day to celebrate that squiggly line. And to say goodbye.

When I moved across the country I entered a deep depression, feeling incredibly alone. Therapy sessions felt like THE only place I could be honest. Where I could be myself.

I described 6 years ago as "floating in a life raft. Waiting to either be found, reach land, or die.”
I was in a state of survival. Or not... period.

Looking back... it's not that I didn't have people who I could call.

I did.

It's not that I didn't have people who loved me, or who I loved.

I did.

But in the moment, I was blinded.

I couldn't see. I couldn't call. I felt entirely alone.

Today I recognize that I've put in the work.

And I’ve loved myself enough to show up.

…Even when I reeeeally didn't want to. Even when it was fuckin MESSY.

And it’s time for me to go on and experience this world with open arms and an open heart.

A note to myself —
Love and relationships are what make this entire life worth it. You’ve done a great job at protecting yourself, but it’s time to remember there’s a lot of good in this world too. Every time you try to block out the bad, you block out the good too. Let people love you, Rachel. Open your heart and receive.

You’re worth love from others. You’re worth love from yourself.

You belong, and you’re not alone. <3